Monday, 27 May 2013


As the title suggests I have finished university! I've been waiting for this moment for nearly two years and I can't believe that it's finally over! The past few months were so draining and tiring but I have just about pulled through to the end. Imagine if I had given in to my thoughts last year and quit uni...

My holiday that I was looking forward to has been cancelled and moved to another time and destination. So I have decided to spend this summer doing absolutely nothing lol. Well, playing video games, catching up on all the books and films I need to read and watch, boring stuff. 

(As you can tell, this post is much different from my others. Cut for personal thoughts.)

However I am not all. In fact I can't remember a time where I was truly happy for a long period of time. Don't get me wrong, I have had "up" moments but they seem to be few and far in between and the negatives seem to be outweighing the positives. It has just gotten to the point where I actually expect to be disappointed when it comes to everything: results, plans, weight loss, ideas, wishes etc. so I don't really have any hope of anything I want actually coming true and the rare things that do come true, I'm not really excited for since I think that if I keep thinking about it something will eventually go wrong.

Blah blah blah, moan moan moan, you get my drift.

I'm turning 21 in a couple of months and it just hits me that I have wasted my life doing a uni course that I didn't really want to do, having a student loan to pay back, not doing the things that I really want to do etc. I feel like the last three years have been a test of my perseverance. Despite managing to pull through I feel like things are worse than they were three years ago.

I don't really know where I'm going with this but...I guess I wish that things could get better.

Just to make things more positive, I'd like to refer back to my previous post where I made a goal list for this year.

Out of these goals I definitely know that I will achieve graduating (being unusually optimistic that my grades will be good enough for me to pass), travelling and seeing the GazettE in Paris. Hopefully I'll do some studying during the summer. About the other wishes....I'm not really sure what's going on with those lol.

So.... that's it I guess. This actually has been going through my for some months now....I just haven't expressed these thoughts so openly. 

___φ(・ω・` )

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